Intro(w). to Cliterary Theory (aka Tri-vial Purrsuits)

Every “fact”on this site is a “little known fact” but the nuns have never, not for one second, been into games of trivial pursuit. Their trivialization is social and mythical: the nuns have had nothing to do with it, historically.

What has history ever told (of) us (of our Sapphic Selves), anyway?

It’s time we delved deep below its blood-crusted surface of explosives, bullets, and blades into the rich womenstrual layers of (n)unharvested, (u)untouched “trivial” purrsuits, wherein can be found the ongoings of the nuns…the antidote to history.

That was a riddle, Readrrr. Do you need me to connect your dots for you? (It’s not been unheard of for a cloudy nun to number the melting stars.)

The answer to the above riddle, and the subterranean truth below the broken record of history, is HYSTERIA.







(Anything but his-story. Preferably ending with an A.)

The answer is in our hell-bent return to the phonetic in order to upturn, disturb, and otherwise disrupt, via literary non(nun)compliance and linguistic subversion, the oppressive meanings that have been created, accepted, and regenerated by HIS STORY.

Hyssteria (definitions/definite nuns; noun):

(a-1) willfully and demonstratively exaggerated and (n)uncontrollable emotion-infused language (whether linguistic, bodily, or symbolic) aimed at disrupting and metaphorically dismembering oppressive “bodies,” or factions, of history in their corporal-linguistic, meta-artistic, rigid policing-based man-ifestations.

(a-2) a psychic gift whose powers include the conversion of oppressive psychiatric diagnostic labels into supernatural abilities, including the ability to make psychiatry overcome its selective amnesia, shallow volatile lack of emotion, and over dramatic or attention seeking oppression of women and other non-compliant social deviants.

(a-3) a state characterized by (cata)stratospheric wisdom that mystifies and causes cultural nervousness in non-evolving human societies, moving alternatively and spirally toward nun-evolving reform.

(a-4) an artistic lifestyle in which polarities are recognized as a righteous and rational response to a planet sick with domination and submission, wherein non-violent (i.e., nun-violent: virulent and verbose) reactionary polarities are embraced and labels for polarities are both embraced and shirked, simultaneously.

This is how HIS(s)TORY treats a LADY (Macbeth)!

Hysteric (noun): a powerful practitioner of the DARK & LIBERATING ART OF HYSTERIA.

I am not, by any means, the first (hearse) practitioner of the impractical magic of hysteria; however, I, Sistrrr Hystericus Pinch, am the first self-proclaimed HYSTERIC. That, at the Abbey, is one of my many (nun)official titles.

I’m still your Hexmistress, which is similar but not hexactly the same as your Headmistress, and trust me on this:

I am also the first, THE VERY-VERY FIRST, cliterary theorist. Every thing written on this site is cliterary theory, no matter its womanifestation. All of it is narrative. Both literary and clitoral.

More terms:

Cliterature (noun): clitorally written works, especially those considered NOT to be of superior or lasting artistic merit by educated, elite white men.

Cliterary (adjective): concerning the writing, study, or content of cliterature. Refers, more broad-ly, to the merging, and emulsification, of the literary and the clitoral.

Cliterary theory: a description of the (n)underlying clitoral principles, or tools, by which we attempt to (n)understand literature and the politically defiant act of writing theory via cliterature (in other words– cliterature is, by nature, cliterary theory in practice). All cliterary interpretation draws on a clitoral basis but can serve as a justification for very different kinds of critical activity (aka Clit Crit).

I do (k)not i-nun-date you with these terms in order to break it down for you; I do it to soak and submerge you in it, Readrrr. No matter who you are, it’s always good to be cliterate. In deed, it is.

There is no way to break through the iron bars of history without engaging in its (unl)awful practices and, probably, dying; and so instead we slip– we slip through openings and go down deep, (n)underground. We become immersed in subtextual meanings where time is not linear and meaning is actively and subversively reinvented and reproduced, sometimes, and often, in the damp dark cavernous cellar of humanity.


Put away your history crooks; open your hysteria books. There is only one way to understand the way in which domination has been written into history and history has been produced by domination, and that is to study hysteria.

Such inventive definitions will never go down in history. Look for them here. Look to the nuns. Look for them in the nooks and crannies of history. Readrrr, we are one for the (hystery-ahhh) books.

And with that, I wish you many harpy returns this TEA-sday and an afterlifetime of clitorally stimulating LITERARY READS!

Tombnote: I once tried to submit an original definition of the word ‘Prioress‘ to Urban Dictionary, and my very hackurate definition was rejected. Imagine my disdainful lack of surprise, Readrrr. This captures the essence of why freedom of the (headmistress) press matters, and of the criminally important nature of the content I leak to you on behalf of the mute-ant nuns.

Tombnote 2: All of these words are original to Sistrrr Grim and copyrighted according to The Will of The Heavenly Fahther. Cite or use without referencing the real name of Sistrrr Grim, and GO DIRECTLY TO HELL.

Tombnote 3: If you recognized that the final four words in Tombnote 2 hexemplifies an example of HYSTERIA, you are ready to progress to the next c-lass session of Intro. to Cliterature. Keep a list of the bold terms in your notebook as you prepare for the coming, days ahead.

Tombnotes & Tomb Theory brought to you by Sistrrrs Shakespeare & Grim


3 Comments Add yours

  1. andrewjsacks says:

    I would not surprised to learn that you have been spending some time with Sister Funk and Sister Wagnalls.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. andrewjsacks says:

      b.e.e., that is, as well. Sorry for the tpyo.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lira says:

    Being your friend must be amazing. Seriously. You sound like fun. Anyway, just decided to comment to say that. Have a nice day. *waves goodbye*

    Liked by 1 person

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